Jim , very good.
A lot better than the humourless effort from Lewes.
Keep it up.
Old people and Poles won't like it.....
Subject: FW: Polish Divorce
POLISH DIVORCE
A Polish man moved to the UK and married an English girl.
Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day
he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
Have you any grounds? --Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.
No, I mean what is the foundation of this case? --
It made of concrete.
I don't think you understand. Do either of you have a real grudge? --
No, we have carport, and not need one.
I mean. What are your relations like? --
All my relations still in Poland.
Is there any infidelity in your marriage? --
We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.
Does your wife beat you up? --
No, I am always up before her.
Is your wife a nagger? -- No, she white.
Why do you want this divorce? --
She going to kill me.
What makes you think that? --
I got proof.
What kind of proof? --
She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom.
I can read, and it say: 'Polish Remover’.
Three Blondes
Three Blondes were all applying for the last available position on the Texas Highway Patrol.
The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, "So why'all want to be cops, huh?"
The blondes all nodded.
The detective got up, opened a file drawer and pulled out a folder Sitting back down, he opened it and pulled out a picture, and said, "To be a detective, you have to be able to detect. You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities, such as scars and so forth." So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about two seconds.
"Now," he said, "did you notice any distinguishing features about this man ?"
The blonde immediately said, "Yes, I did. He has only one eye!"
The detective shook his head and said, "Of course he has only one eye in this picture! It's a profile of his face! You're dismissed!"
The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office.
The detective then turned to the second blonde, stuck the photo in her face for two seconds, pulled it back and said, "What about you? Notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?"
"Yes! He only has one ear!"
The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed, "Didn't you hear what I just told the other lady? This is a profile of the man's face! Of course you can only see one ear!! You're excused too!"
The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office.
The detective turned his attention to the third and last blonde and said, "This is probably a waste of time, but..." He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying, "All right, did you notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?"
The blonde said, "I sure did. This man wears contact lenses."
The detective frowned, took another look at the picture and began looking at some of the papers in the folder.
He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled expression and said, "You're absolutely right! His bio says he wears contacts! How in the world could you tell that by looking at his picture?"
The blonde rolled her eyes and said, "Well, Helloooo! With only one eye and one ear, he certainly can't wear glasses."
Just cant let a day go by without a sarcastic comment about the Lewes blog.
