Post by borofan39 on Aug 4, 2006 16:56:44 GMT
Reading will be the dark horses in the premiership next season and will gain the forth lucrative champions league spot. Liverpool will battle it out with Sheffield United for the final UEFA Cup spot, but will wither under the pressure and Sheffield United will get it with a final day draw at Anfield. Wayne Rooney will quit football to pursue his dream and will take his chances on pop idol, but will be sent home in tears after Simon Cowell makes some horrible remarks about his weight. Real Madrid sign scumbag Cristiano Ronaldo from Man Utd for £39million. He is relocated to Israel in November after he has a rotten egg thrown at him in an away champions league match against Man.Utd. Charlton capture the imagination with the signing of fat Ronaldo. Ronaldo stated his reason for joining as “people respect you no matter your weight”. Portsmouth get relegated in the new year after a record-breaking run of one point from 19 games. Harry Redknapp randomly blames LuaLua for the failure and is sacked in February. The Emirates Stadium is closed down due to moth infestation. Paul Le Guen stirs up the new old firm rivalry by critiscing the clubs chairman’s for having two ginger managers the previous season. Gordon Strachan lets his team do the talking on the pitch with a good 3-1 victory at Ibrox. Eidur Gudjohnsen passes out at a Spanish bachelor party and to his horror wakes up seven months into the season. Barcelona are a disappointing 3rd and were knocked out the Champions League 7-2 on aggregate by Chelsea. He’s released from his contract and is going back to Iceland in June. Middlesbroughs title challenge is ended in early March after a 7-1 home defeat to Manchester City. Chelsea’s season long unbeaten run is ended in on the same day as they lose 1-0 at Bramall Lane thanks to a 83rd minute Danny Webber strike. Aston Villa go into liquidation due to them hiring the wrong owner. They are forced to sell Barry, Sorensen, Baros, Phillips, Delaney, Hendrie and Bouma and buy Dion Dublin on a free transfer. Tim Henman finally quits tennis after his protégé Andrew Murray wins Wimbledon and the Australian Open to take his chances managing Bolton Wanderes. Henman lands the job after Sam Allardyce is elected King of China. Gordon Strachan stirs up the old firm rivalry by claiming Rangers suck. Paul Le Guen lets his team do the talking on the pitch with a good 3-0 win at Celtic Park. Bryan Robson tries new methods in training by taking his squad to Disney World for the day. The trip however ends in controversy when Diomansy Kamara is lucky to escape with his life after he gets into a fight with a fatman over who was first in line for space mountain. Robson gives this statement (quote) “It was not Diomansys fault the fatman tricked him”. Portsmouth are joined in relegation by Watford and Newcastle whereas Plymouth end 100 years of hurt to make it up to the big league. They are joined by Barnsley and Sheffield Wednesday. The Gers win the SPL on 93points just ahead of The Bhoys on 92points. Sheffield United win the Carling cup after a dramatic 8-7 penalty shootout victory over Plymouth. Manchester United win The FA Cup and Chelsea win the Premiership 23points ahead of second placed Arsenal. Real Madrid win the Champions League with a 3-2 win over Cork City. Brighton have to raise funds by turning their stadium into an abertwar and Jose Mourinho is elected Pri-Minister.
